‘SNL’ takes on Trump’s Stormy Daniels scandal and his ‘100% accurate health assessment’

snl stormy daniels trump Micheal Che on “SNL”‘s “Weekend Update.” SNL/YouTube

  • “Saturday Night Live” took on President Donald Trump’s Stormy Daniels scandal this week.
  • The cast also addressed Trump’s medical report and the government shutdown.
  • Jessica Chastain was the host and Troye Sivan was the musical guest.

On the one-year anniversary of his presidency, “Saturday Night Live” took on recent reports that President Donald Trump had a brief affair with porn star Stormy Daniels.

The Wall Street Journal reported on January 12 that Daniels said she had a sexual encounter with Trump in 2006, and that his lawyers paid her $130,000 to keep quiet about it during the campaign.

InTouch magazine subsequently published a full interview with Daniels from 2011 on Friday, in which she described her alleged affair with Trump, including that they apparently watched “Shark Week” in his hotel room.

The White House has said the “allegation was asked and answered during the campaign,” and directed any further questions to Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen, who told The Journal that Trump “vehemently denies any such occurrence.” He didn’t specifically address the accusation that he paid Daniels to stay quiet.

After congratulating Trump for keeping the government open for “almost one year,” Colin Jost opened the “Weekend Update” segment saying he was excited he could finally Google “Stormy Daniels” on his work computer.

“Porn star Stormy Daniels said that while she was having an affair with Donald Trump, he told her she was beautiful and smart just like his daughter, which is somehow the grossest thing a man has ever said to Stormy Daniels,” Jost said.

Micheal Che said he was bummed Daniels didn’t share more shocking details about her alleged encounter with Trump.

“Trump grabs women by the vagina as his opener, so his actual sex must be insane, right?” Che said. “But the craziest thing that we got was that he was spanked by a magazine and he’s afraid of sharks. Well of course he’s afraid of sharks — he has the body of a seal.”

Cecily Strong then appeared playing Daniels, who Jost said was an “unlikely ally” for Trump’s critics.

“Things are so bad right now, there are so many women just desperately trying to figure out how to be empowered by me, and the best they can say is I’m a female director,” she said, and Jost asked if she also directed porn.

“Yeah, Colin, because unlike your industry, we actually have female directors, imagine that!” she responded. “Now, I get it that I’m not what these people envisioned their hero would look like. But guess what, America? I’m the hero you deserve right now.”

Trump’s medical report

The episode also spoofed Trump’s doctor and rear admiral Ronny Jackson, who presented his report on Trump’s physical during a White House press briefing this week.

Playing Jackson, Beck Bennett delivered the president’s “unbiased, 100% accurate health assessment,” including his “gorgeous, 44-inch ‘Coke bottle waist,'” and “legs that, well they seem to go on forever.”

“It’s my expert medical opinion that the president’s got a rockin’ bod, with the perfect amount of cushion for the pushin’, and if given the chance, I would,” he said.

He then fielded reporter’s questions on whether the report was fabricated, and on Trump’s mental fitness. Bennett said he usually only gave the mental test to determine if someone is “a monkey in people clothes.”

Addressing the Daniels scandal, Bennett said he couldn’t confirm or deny the report, but that if the encounter did occur, “she’s a lucky woman.” He added that the medical team also gave the president a “sex exam” at his request.

“He blew the doors off that sucker. He nailed every position perfectly,” he said.

Aidy Bryant, playing White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, said Trump also “crushed” the Tide Pod Challenge.

Elsewhere on the episode, the “SNL” cast had sketches on Amazon’s HQ2 search and a much more violent version of “Fresh Prince.” Comedic veteran Kate McKinnon also played special counsel Robert Mueller, and host Jessica Chastain delivered an opening monologue musical number about the women’s march and Time’s Up campaign.

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